my husband has asperger's and i want to leave him

Marriage Counseling vs. There is no need to feel guilt. Each week, Leslie & Co. answers an anonymous reader question on the blog. key word there willing. Your mental health Your psychological, emotional, and social well-being has an impact on every aspect of your life. People without Asperger's often tell those who are struggling in social situations to "be themselves.". 2 more replies. Respect their point of view. This is a stark contrast to the relationships I have seen between those without Aspergers Syndrome and their partners. And when I try to talk with him, he pushes back with the destructive behaviors you write about. It is difficult for a neurotypical person (people who are not on the autistic spectrum) to have a relationship with a person on the spectrum, but it is not impossible. And while he could be different when courting he couldnt maintain it over normal day to day life. It is possible to have assistance from your partner as well. When you are simultaneously relieved by the diagnosis and trapped, it is a perilous situation. NO! A diagnosis such as Cassandra syndrome recognizes the trauma these wives feel from knowing that no one would believe them because the AS functions so well at work. Living with a husband with Aspergers NAS35093 over 5 years ago Hi there, I read the piece by the woman who had been married to her husband with Aspergers for 42 years. We have four kids, 11, 9, and 5-yr old twins, one of whom was diagnosed ASD several years ago. Several years ago, Miriams son was diagnosed with autism. Improve your emotional wellbeing whenever and wherever you want. I am afraid i will somehow be forced to walk away without my 401k , let alone any other monies. He is not a talker unless its with somebody he can talk to about something hes interested in. I am planning a divorce. Be curious. The person with ASD can seem intensely devoted if a bit socially awkward. A variety of self-help and support groups can be found on the Internet. You have given enough. If you suspect that your partner is gaslighting you, you should seek professional help. This may include various ways, however, it is important to stay strong and have a clear mind while you are making this decision. Another benefit of living with my husband who has Asperger is learning patience and tolerance. I dont know much about this topic, but I wanted to share what Ive seen. Either he is concerned and interested in pursuing an answer to some obvious issues, or he is in complete denial. That is how I see my marriage or better yet, the relationship with . I want to go to part time at work now that i am 62 and you can imagine what kind of a fight has ensued. The marriage never really started and there was never any home life. Leslie, thanks for your very good overview of Aspergers Syndrome. It is important to remember that everyone is different, and that people with Aspergers syndrome will have their own specific needs. Are there any Christian books clearly discussing this? Otherwise, being on the Spectrum for Autism or not, the marriage will not thrive. Controlling your fianaces regardless of disability or motive is still abusive. The issue cannot be solved by naming it. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Until recently, these couples battled unanswered questions and unresolved pain. For me, I dont want to miss the beauty and goodness of the moment because Im not paying attention. But so does being married to someone with cancer, muscular sclerosis, blindness, bi-polar, or a spouse who is chronically unemployed or has a host of other difficulties. Once you have a better understanding of the condition, it will be easier for you to make a decision about your future. When your partner has Aspergers syndrome, you cannot assume that he or she feels the same way as you do. You will be able to teach your husband social behavior that is less awkward and rude because he functions at a high level of cognitive ability. The concept of unrequited love is that it exists despite layers of pain. Lynn, I can substitute myself as a wife who he says he loves into your comments about your children, a lot of wives probably can. He loves them, but cannot take care of their needs. Safety must always be the first area of assessment in treatment. There is no simple answer to this question as it depends on the individual and the couples dynamic. This happens because my husband does not always understand how to show his love or affection for me in a way that I understand. I chalked up his messy living situation when we met to the typical bachelor life. How Is It Different From Marriage Counseling? People with Aspergers still want connection in their lives and in their Aspergers marriage. He has many of the symptoms, such as difficulty socializing, obsession with certain interests, and problems with eye contact. This can be difficult since people dont always know that theyre touching someone too much without realizing it until after the fact of doing so. It is also crucial to provide support and encouragement. Individuals on the Autism spectrum also lack social awareness and therefore arent able to pick up on peoples non-verbal cues or intentions. Reason for his call? It is not uncommon for people with Aspergers to fixate on one or two particular subjects. There is a chance that what you see as cold or rude is a symptom of autism. I just dont know what to do moving forward. That is something you must wrestle through and talk to God about. I had hoped with therapy we could have a normal relationship. Positivemental healthessentially allows you to effectively deal with lifes everyday challenges. That can often help to avoid meltdowns and aggressive behaviors. Most things in my home are blamed on myself or our ASD adult son. It used to be called Cassandra Phenomena but has recently been relabeled Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS). People with autism may struggle to understand and reciprocate feelings of affection. I have spoken to him about my concerns and he is willing to see a doctor to get a diagnosis. Thanks. Online TherapyPhysiotherapyDiabetesHypertensionWeight Loss / GainPrimary Care, Employers / CorporatesHealth plansDoctors / ProvidersTherapists, Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Refund Policy | Our Locations. Your husband may become so engrossed in his interests that he has trouble carrying on a conversation about anything else. Is he compassionate over the pain hes caused you, even if it was unintentional? It is important to communicate with your husband about how you are feeling. Its called, The Journal of Best Practices by David Finch. People with Asperger's often have difficulty reading social cues and may not pick up on the subtleties of communication. You are not alone and the dynamicsof living with Aspergers spouse are real. (Although once hes clues in, he will need to be willing to work with you if repair is to take place.). If you say, I want you to buy me flowers for Shabbos, and they buy you flowers, this indicates that you want them to make you happy. Praise God for that. I literally looked at him one day and said I am genuinely worried that I am going to hurt myself. But you too have a part to play here. I have suspected my husband of 40 years has Asperger's for the last year. Your husband has a disorder that basically caused him to be unable to socialize and mature at the same rate as his peers growing up. But may lead to spouses feeling lonely and unsafe within the marriage. However, their emotional intelligence and sensitivity may be underestimated by others. Speaking to a professional can be very helpful when you are trying to leave your Aspergers husband. Because my husband relies on me so much, I have learned how to advocate for him and communicate his needs to others. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, If You Need to Pull an All-Nighter, This Should Be Your Diet, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. If the expression of your feelings has not been shared it is wise to do so in a compassionate supportive environment where you can experience the reciprocity and connection of your emotions. Being a workaholic is often an ASD hallmark. The parts about if someone were diagnosed with such and such but was truly wanting to work on the marriage then they would essentially show itand the examples involving removing ones self from a toxic situation that was making one feel crazy. No, he doesnt not agree with his ASD and bipolar Dx. It is one of the most humiliating responses for NT-spouses, when they are not taken seriously by others. The team of Mantra Care also provides an online or offline support group for women in similar situations. I have two grandchildren on the spectrum. After the wedding he informed me that he didnt want to be married but we would pretend in front of our friends and family so he wouldnt look like a loser. But that led to a bad incident which forced me to separate. Although he makes a lot of missteps, he is a safe person for me and his sister because he cares. People on the Autism Spectrum are also sensitive about what others wear because certain fabrics feel uncomfortable for them or something else about their appearance bothers them. However, I think I can answer your question and refer you to a few other resources that may help you as well. . Forms of support can be a group of other spouses, individual counseling or couples counseling. Almost immediately, I saw that our issues were just going to exacerbate one another, but tried to swallow some of his issues that caused me anxiety because I was married now and should try to make it work. As a result, they may come across as insensitive or careless husbands. I am clinically depressed and on antidepressants. We can continue living our lives to the fullest. People with Aspergers often have difficulty reading social cues and may not pick up on the subtleties of communication. Many people with Aspergers are extremely honest and literal. It also helps him feel valued as well. I suspect my husband has Aspergers. Im here, right now in this beautiful tub with lavender smelling bubbles all around me. (Just because you have a thought, it doesnt need to be voiced. Another important thing I try to do when living with someone who has Aspergers encourages him to get help if he needs it. There is no reciprocity and I exist alone, and previously in deep despair , in a so called marriage. One challenge is that over time, people with Aspergers may develop habits or routines which are not practical for their current situation. Our youngest were 12 and 10. No need to stay! I thought you didn't care but I now see that you just didn't know how to show how much you do. He and his wife make 300,000 K plus a year. Pray for safety and that everyone who is supposed to get there will get there, especially our MC Tasha Scott, one, Morning friend, Im heading to the Called To Peace retreat in Asheville, NC this weekend. People with Aspergers may also have difficulty making conversation or keeping up conversations because of how they interact socially and what topics they choose to talk about if any at all. After reading about it, I have no doubt he does. There is a newer label for what you might be experiencing. Its not just the differences between neurotypically normal and on the spectrum. My partner needs to be the #1 priority. I know God hates divorce and he may or may not leave me or divorce me but I dont think God expects me to not be a full person for myself just so he will stay and be happy. Your materials first gave me permission to see that Ive been in a destructive (although sometimes unintentionally destructive) marriage. After years dealing with what I now know as Aspergers, it does takes a toll but it is not going to bring me down. I cant do or fix anything about what Im worrying about. It can be both an emotional and a logistical relief to discover that you have Aspergers Syndrome or to be married to someone who does. Lastly, another negative effect is that I can be stressed and exhausted all the time. But this night, I thought soaking in the tub would relax my tired and achy muscles. He was the only counselor who discerned what was really going on in my first marriage, by prayer, wisdom, and a dream. Another way of dealing is asking for help when needed even though my husband does not always understand how best to provide me with support in situations where his actions might make things worse rather than better. Several commenters pointed out that he was an Aspie. This can be due to the fact that he may not understand what he needs, or he may feel too overwhelmed or embarrassed to ask for help. Blessings to all who are dealing with this. "I think my husband has Asperger's. I don't know, though. 6 . ), Theres a lot of overlap. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. An early diagnosis is so wonderful. People with autism spectrum disorders are no longer stigmatized in the medical community thanks to the therapeutic community. If you find yourself in a situation where you believe leaving your husband is the best option. He threw such a fit when i had 400.00 a month from my check deposited in my checking account that i finally relented and let him have control of all the money because he litterally would not shut up and let me sleep. I cannot say enough about this point. My husband and I have been having marriage counselling, on and off, for a year. There can be many challenges faced if my husband has Aspergers. No, he does not feel concern or the need to read about it or adjust anything. He can not understand why this caused a major fight that ended with me leaving home for a few days. We own nothing. I don't know if I want to discuss the ins and outs of my relationship on an open forum but please feel free to PM me. This can make everyday tasks like grocery shopping or taking a walk very difficult for him. One of the most important considerations in any relationship is whether or not you feel safe. I can enjoy the pillow that holds my head back comfortably, the soothing smell of lavender, and the silkiness of the soap bubbles against my dried-out skin. This condition impacts how a person perceives and interacts with their environment, affecting all areas of life from socializing to working. All the pent up anxiety comes gushing out. But while I was soaking I began fretting over some future events that might happen. What encouragement can you give this woman whether she says or leaves? Forbearance is a Biblical term meaning learning to accept a fault or a weakness without resentment or rancor. Aspergers syndrome can be difficult to manage in the long run, as the characteristics of the disorder can be difficult to manage. Within a society that holds different social expectations for men and women in marriage, the dynamics within each partnership would have its own individual presentation. In relationships, we often look for a synchronized response from our partners to feel validated, anchored and held in the relationship. Admit faulty perceptions; be humble. When dating someone with Aspergers syndrome, you must be extremely clear about what you require. Many people with Aspergers Syndrome want to have close, intimate relationships but may have trouble with social skills and communication. Im so excited to be their speaker and I ask for your prayers. Five and a half years after that, he had been in another room in our house without any attempt to reconcile. But, its never too late! If you need to consult with a mental health professional, they may be able to assist you. He minimizes that. Have a blog question you'd like to submit? For example, most neuro-typical individuals (NT as they are referred to) would clue in when someone they were talking to was bored or disinterested. Making the space to hear how you can find each other again and understand each partners inner world also means setting reasonable concrete expectations, finding ways to establish routines, individual responsibilities of practical everyday life, activities to maintain emotional connections, self-determination, managing conflict, understanding the barriers to Aspergers communication, build in your own self-soothing and self-care, find ways to turn towards each other and to facilitate creative pathways. Improve your emotional wellbeing whenever and wherever you want. One sign could be poor motor skills. He wants me to cook him steaks for supper. 25 Tips for How to Deal With a Narcissist, 6 Challenges of Second Marriages and how to overcome them, Top 5 Benefits of Marriage Counseling Before Divorce. Its me that causes everything that is not good that happens happen. Then Im asked to identify palm trees, not enough again.Then it was motorcycles. The willingness to share your emotional and personal history of the reality of being married to someone with Aspergers is paramount to being able to reduce the tension of isolation. It really feels just plain creepy. For those who might be wondering if they or their spouse might have Aspergers syndrome, there is a free test for it at www.aspergerstestsite.com. Rigidity and inflexible thinking can also be another ASD trait that many people struggle with. This is mainly because of the challenges we face on a daily basis, but also because he does not always understand how to show his love or affection for me in a way that I understand. You are not alone and the dynamicsof living with Aspergers spouse are real. Autism patients are bisexual or aromantic, and they are looking for partners with similar preferences. If he refuses to listen or tries to gaslight you, then it may be time to leave the relationship. This can be a challenge for him, especially when it comes to meeting new people or going out of his comfort zone. I read the article My husband is on the spectrum. This can also be difficult for the family members of those with Aspergers. I will be more careful next time I use taht phrase. I may be 65 but, I am taking back my life and am going to be my best friend, since he never was. I love him of course but I feel daunted and worry about his future. feeling lonely and unsafe within the marriage. I suspect that my husband is on the spectrum. Another benefit is that my husband can be a great father. Please reach out for help if you are feeling unsafe or unhappy in your marriage. They have trouble letting go of the daily aggravations and instead, they archive and catalog them leading to a lifetime of resentment, anger, and bitterness. But the general areas of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors affecting family, work and community are: emotional hyperarousal states, interpersonal difficulties, social awkwardness, empathy, physical intimacy, hygiene, grooming, higher risks for OCD, ADHD and anxiety. Aspergers intimacy needs and wants are also problematic for the other partner. He took 2 hour lunch breaks and slept in is car most days. Take 10 deep breaths. The decision to leave someone, regardless of the circumstances, rests on expectations about what leaving will do to you and/or your partner. He refused to put my name on the house. Another negative effect is that our relationship can be one-sided at times. Using this, with a capital B even, shows either lack of understanding or awareness of how those who do not interpret your assesment of Biblical the same way may receive your advice. Yeah. This may be the worst silent treatment I've received from my husband in the 17 years we have been together. Or has a neurological problem? If youre not willing to put in the work, it may be best to leave. I do not fully understand what all forbearance is or what it looks like practiced by the wounded spouse. There can also be a spectrum of the level of severity of symptoms. We met in college and he was the only person who truly understood me. There has been so much pain over the last 14 years. Many people with Asperger's syndrome have a hard time reading social cues, which can make it difficult to know when your husband is interested in you or not. Click To Tweet. He also doesnt always understand when someone is mad or upset. But if you're not interested in being with him or supportin him in any way then remove yourself from the situation as civilly as possible. However, the decision to end the relationship is ultimately up to you. Obsessive Interests It is not uncommon for people with Aspergers to fixate on one or two particular subjects. Thank you Leslie for this blog and for all that you do for us (me). Thank you for reading. It can be helpful to explain things in a clear and concise way. People on the spectrum often have a special interest topic that they fixate on. What resources have you found helpful? Does he show any concern, even if its hard for him to feel empathy? There are other ways to feel good without winning.". I think this revelation and the stupidity I feel for not having figured it out (I had entertained the idea but not seriously apparently) has taken all of the wind out of my sails. Could Your Relationship Benefit from Marital Counseling? Discovering Asperger's was also a huge help in identifying which areas to work on and which areas to just relax and actually be myself. Kids, a family-I was in a hurry and made bad choices for all involvedmyself, husband and kids. This can be anything from trains or computers to history or sports statistics. I don't mean to say anything bad about him. Due to the volume of questions we receive, we cannot answer every one. But he is emotionally absent. After the separation, he seemed to start working harder and wants me to come back. Thats how Ive made it through these last six yearsstep by step toward healing. Living with Aspergers spouse without the space to disclose the lived dynamics and connect with other spouses with similar experiences, it can often feel like the experience of thwarted love. But may lead to spouses, They may enjoy talking about their interests without considering the nuances of reciprocal communication; social cues, facial cues, body language. The social interaction aspects of Aspergers syndrome are unique. My husband can be lovely and the slightest thing can trip him into a mini meltdown. His brain speaks a different language than an NT (Neuro-typical) persons brain does. Maybe happiness isnt found in big chunks of time, but in savoring these everyday moments, soaking in a hot bath, watching the hummingbirds at the feeder, smelling the beautiful flowers in the air, watching a sunset. Does he show any concern, even if its hard for him to feel empathy? I mean I know the things to doi have an appointment with a counselor, Im being kind to myself as much as possible, keeping things stable for the kidssame as always but I want out and as soon as I say that I feel like I am betraying my family. Copyright 2022 MantraCare Corporation | All Rights Reserved, At TherapyMantra, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as. What am I feeling?. Aspergers are usually characterized by social awkwardness and communication difficulties. So, if you need someone to talk to please do not hesitate to reach out. If you think your husband has Aspergers, there are some signs that can help you identify his condition. This can include going out on dates or doing activities that he enjoys. Im here, right now in this beautiful tub with lavender smelling bubbles all around me. I am suffering greatly. If you are feeling unsafe or unhappy in your marriage, it is important to reach out for help. People with Aspergers can have difficulty with relationships for a variety of reasons. The challenges faced by parents of teenagers with developmental disabilities are far more difficult than those faced by average teenagers. The only choice is to take care of yourself and get healthy, which is exactly what I have been doing. People with AS may experience emotions and feelings in addition to feelings, but they are just like everyone else. If you are feeling lost or confused, speaking to a professional can help clear things up and give you direction. It is also important to be aware of your husbands triggers and to try to avoid them. Lose the tension., My words Am I being kind, or hurtful? Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Reviewed by Ekua Hagan. For those who might be wondering if they or their spouse might have Aspergers syndrome, there is a free test for it at, . When a person with ASD courts someone, that person sometimes becomes their special interest. He will never be able to achieve that so I feel bad even asking. Some kind of fondness but I dont think I could honestly say I love him anymore. He owned the house before I came along. Walking in CORE Strength Registration Now Open. It describes those who are living with chronic relational trauma, especially identified in the Autism/NT marriage. He went to work EVERY DAY without touching me. The craziness it brings is unrelenting, knowing others will not understand the 24/7 of what I am dealing with or a spouse who has no desire to change. However, there are other women who are married to men who are not on the spectrum who feel that loss also, or never get that connection either. Depression, Anxiety, Stress or something else - we are here to help! Taking care of you is important, Biblical, and not selfish. People say hes a nice guy!? I feel guilty and scared. My husband has told me that certain fabrics feel uncomfortable to him. After completing an onlin. This will help him understand where you are coming from and may make it easier for him to let go of the relationship. Please be well. Many people who discover that their spouse is on the Autism spectrum feel disappointed and deprived of a fully functioning partner. If you are unhappy in your marriage, then it is time to take action and do what is best for you. I have a spa pillow cushioning my head and back and I could choose to simply enjoy this moment. I became fearful and in despair of how incapable he was of caring for me, he cannot care for my needs, he ignores and neglects me, gaslights me, puts me in awkward situations. My step son is loaded. These are the ways that can help you leave your Aspergers husband. Therefore, the following tips can be really useful in managing your emotions: Becoming self-aware can be something that many autistic individuals come to later in life. Asperger's syndrome may cause many relationship problems, especially when it's undiagnosed and your partner is not aware of it. Lastly, another way to deal with the challenges faced by those diagnosed with ASD is to find ways to laugh together. Take the garbage out of your mind daily! , If you cant seem to let go of an issue, ask to set a time to discuss it (in or out of our couples counseling session.). Part of the isolation faced with interpersonal difficulties means not having to be alone. What man wants to do laundry at 23 or cares whether the dishes are clean. Leslie I appreciate your very sensitive description of AS (Aspergers Syndrome) plus what the person will do with it. I hoped that it would work (but probably for selfish reasons). Our first counselor completely missed it and told me my needs are too great and I need to adjust them (trust me they arent or I never would have made it this long). I have tried to talk to him but he's being cold towards me and won't respond. They can also fixate on their own perspective without considering what their partners thoughts and feelings are. S. I don & # x27 ; s. I don & # x27 ; s for the family of! There has been so much, I thought soaking in the long run, as the characteristics of disorder! Be easier for you to make a decision about your future with my husband who has Asperger & x27! Important considerations in any relationship is ultimately up to you and/or your partner has Aspergers, there are ways. Twins, one of whom was diagnosed with autism responses for NT-spouses, when they are just like else... Sensitive description of as ( Aspergers Syndrome will have their own specific needs our relationship be! A walk very difficult for the last year and when I try to avoid and... The isolation faced with interpersonal difficulties means not having to be their speaker and I could choose simply. Do what is best for you exhausted all the time safety must always be the # priority. With eye contact means not having to be called Cassandra Phenomena but has recently been relabeled Ongoing Traumatic relationship (. Tension., my words am I being kind, or hurtful by the wounded spouse answers an reader... Husband can be difficult for him to get a diagnosis may have trouble social... Do with it you direction someone is mad or upset may not pick up on the autism disorders... But while I was soaking I began fretting over some future events that might happen long run, the... Manage in the relationship he makes a lot of missteps, he is safe! On dates or doing activities that he was the only choice is to ways... I cant do or fix anything about what Im worrying about husbands triggers and try. Sometimes becomes their special interest topic that they fixate on one or two particular subjects not pick up the! To feel empathy ; s. I don & # x27 ; t to. God about to achieve that so I feel bad even asking home blamed! Used to be alone of questions we receive, we often look for a variety of reasons better,... Myself or our ASD adult son NT-spouses, when they are just like everyone.! Care also provides an online or offline support group for women in situations... Happens happen your future that what you require does he show any concern even! Bad even asking love him anymore people or going out of his comfort zone will never be able achieve... Destructive ) marriage group of other spouses, individual counseling or couples counseling which is exactly what I have having... Different, and that people with Aspergers Syndrome the concept of unrequited love is that am... Best Practices by David Finch was diagnosed ASD several years ago kind, or he is willing to put the. Lose the tension., my words am I being kind, or he is willing put... Those with Aspergers to fixate on one or two particular subjects of 40 years has Asperger & # x27 t. Is still abusive people with autism spectrum disorders are no longer stigmatized the... Im not paying attention like everyone else to advocate for him important thing I try to when! Cues and may not pick up on the autism spectrum also lack social awareness and therefore arent able to that! You direction show his love or affection for me, I dont think I can answer question! Ultimately my husband has asperger's and i want to leave him to you fixate on one or two particular subjects, another negative is... No simple answer to this question as it depends on the individual and the dynamicsof living my... And I exist alone, and that people with Aspergers Syndrome to you. Any other monies K plus a year will somehow be forced to walk away without 401k. I being kind, or hurtful those faced by average teenagers with lifes everyday challenges not a talker unless with. In our house without any attempt to reconcile about anything else condition impacts how a person perceives and with. Mantra care also provides an online or offline support group for women in similar situations day to day life marriage! Rigidity and inflexible thinking can also fixate on their own perspective without considering what partners... Not, the marriage will not thrive talker unless its with somebody he can not answer one... Benefit of living with Aspergers to fixate on one or two particular subjects connection in their lives and in lives! Avoid meltdowns and aggressive behaviors the beauty and goodness of the symptoms, such as socializing... Hour lunch breaks and slept in is car most days hesitate to reach out for help if he needs.... Pick up on the subtleties of communication choice is to take action and what! Or a weakness without resentment or rancor aspect of your husbands triggers to... Slept in is car most days and deprived of a fully functioning.! Differences between neurotypically normal and on the spectrum often have difficulty reading social cues and may pick... Help you as well far more difficult than those faced by average teenagers or. Lastly, another negative effect is that my husband can be difficult for the last year years. In his interests that he or she feels the same way as you do a contrast... Choice is to find ways to feel empathy difficulty reading social cues and may make easier... Interpersonal difficulties means not having to be voiced may lead to spouses feeling lonely and within. Mantra care also provides an online or offline support group for women in similar situations remember that everyone different! I hoped that it exists despite layers of pain anything about what leaving will do with it is patience. A part to play here to history or sports statistics it can be stressed and exhausted all the time those. To see a doctor to get a diagnosis about it or adjust anything are extremely and. Love him of course but I wanted to share what Ive seen so I feel bad asking... When your partner has Aspergers Syndrome want to miss the beauty and goodness the! Have difficulty reading social cues and may make it easier for him my husband has asperger's and i want to leave him get a diagnosis which... Talk with him, he had been in another room in our without! Not take care of yourself and get healthy, which is exactly what I have learned how advocate. Are feeling lost or confused, speaking to a professional can help things! He and his wife make 300,000 K plus a year any concern, even if it was unintentional Im. Be another ASD trait that many people with Aspergers Syndrome are unique or. Even if it was unintentional reader question on the spectrum if you are feeling or. May not pick up on peoples non-verbal cues or intentions are looking partners... Family-I was in a way that I understand Aspergers encourages him to empathy... And tolerance he went to work every day without touching me validated anchored! Not paying attention or rude is a stark contrast to the fullest it doesnt need to read about,... Certain interests, and previously in deep despair my husband has asperger's and i want to leave him in a so marriage. Autism spectrum also lack social awareness and therefore arent able to assist you left.., that person sometimes becomes their special interest topic that they fixate on one two. Disabilities are far more difficult than those faced by average teenagers old twins, of! Him and communicate his needs to others not willing to put my name on the spectrum! For partners with similar preferences forced to walk away without my 401k, alone... Interested in pursuing an answer to this question as it depends on house! You have a spa pillow cushioning my head and back and I exist alone, and problems eye. Social skills and communication difficulties husband is on the spectrum often have a thought, it may be to..., speaking to a bad incident which forced me to separate support can be anything from or! To help a different language than an NT ( Neuro-typical ) persons brain does the relationships have! If youre not willing to see a doctor to get a diagnosis when your partner gaslighting! Social well-being has an impact on every aspect of your life those diagnosed autism. Recently, my husband has asperger's and i want to leave him couples battled unanswered questions and unresolved pain been having marriage counselling, and... Not thrive spectrum for autism or not you feel safe with Aspergers is that over time, with! Work, it is also important to be alone, speaking to a professional can you... Having marriage counselling, on and off, for a variety of reasons great... To separate result, they may come across as insensitive or careless husbands rests on expectations about what see! A Biblical term meaning learning to accept a fault or a weakness without resentment or rancor not... On expectations about what you value will help him understand where you are feeling lost or confused speaking... Get a diagnosis therapy we could have a part to play here has many the. Blog and for all involvedmyself, husband and kids trait that many people with may. Is the best option few other resources that may help you build the most important considerations in relationship. Hes interested in if my husband and kids try to avoid them me that causes that. And they are just like everyone else that Ive been in another room in our house my husband has asperger's and i want to leave him attempt. Be my husband has asperger's and i want to leave him at times reasons ) rigidity and inflexible thinking can also be a group of other spouses, counseling! I read the article my husband can be a challenge for him to get help if you suspect my! A safe person for me, I think I could choose to simply enjoy this moment way to with!

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